


Brown Bear, Brown Bear

by Edenavari



Series: Brown Bear, Brown Bear [1]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, M/M, Pining, Strong Language, Tarot, blind!todd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 10:09:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10965087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Edenavari/pseuds/Edenavari
Summary: One moment you're having dinner with uncommon friends you just made and the next, one of them disappears and a disease you lied about having suddenly hits for real and leaves you blind. What do you know.





	Brown Bear, Brown Bear

**Author's Note:**

> You might notice some inconsistencies within the formatting; it fucked up and I'm too exhausted to fix it tonight, especially on mobile, so it's gonna have to wait until tomorrow.
> 
> Find the artwork that 'iemspacy' made for this fic here: https://iemspacy.tumblr.com/post/160928924830/my-contribution-to-the-big-bang-in-coalition-with
> 
> As for part two, I have every intention to write and publish it. It is definitely coming! Eventually.
> 
> By the way; yes, there will be actual, explicit Faranda from their p.o.v., as well as Brotzly.

°·θ·°

  
  
_We will never let you go!_

  
Farah frowned at the crumpled flyer. Squinting in the sunlight, she looked around, left, right, peering down the alley, then back onto the street, but saw no trace of a garish yellow jacket. Surely he wouldn’t have just… walked away. On the concrete in front of her there were recent traces of skidding. As she considered them, she was interrupted by a sudden commotion from inside the café. She rushed back in and came face to face with an agitated waitress.  
  
“He’s gone mad!” the server said uselessly.  
  
“Move,” Farah said, grinding her teeth as she pushed her way through customers and staff members alike to get to the source of their excitement. Todd was crumpled in the middle of the corridor leading to the bathrooms, screaming in obvious pain, although she couldn’t figure out the source. She picked his cracked phone up off of the floor and wedged it between her ear and shoulder, hands flailing slightly as she tried to decide what to do of Todd. “Amanda? Is that you?”  
  
“ _Farah! What’s going on? Is Todd alright? Why is he screaming? Did something happen to him?_ ”  
  
“Amanda, stop, wait, I don’t know. I don’t know, I can’t see anything wrong with him. Todd? Talk to me, Todd, what’s wrong?”  
  
Todd looked up at her with crazed eyes.  
  
“It burns!” he said, shaking and wailing.  
  
“He says something’s burning, but I… I don’t _see_ anything…”  
  
Farah heard distant shouts through the receiver, heavy panting and the rustle of vegetation.  
  
“ _Dude, he’s having an attack,_ ” Amanda heaved gravely. “ _He’s got it too. He’s got pararibulitis. Now he has it for real? This is crazy! Everything’s crazy!_ ”  
  
“Should I take him to the hospital?”  
  
“ _Uhh -No, wait! I left my meds at his place! You give him that, it’ll be quicker. Go back to his apartment, find the red bottles in the medicine cabinet._ ”  
  
“How many pills does he need?”  
  
“ _Four_.”  
  
“What about you?”  
  
“ _I’ll, er, I… Where’s Dirk?_ ”  
  
“I don’t know, he’s… gone.”  
  
A muffled exclamation rang out some way off the receiver.  
  
“ _They got him?_ ” Amanda echoed.  
  
“Who got him?”  
  
“ _Those...people, I, ah, I can’t talk right now,_ ” she wheezed, “ _We need a safe place to go!_ ”  
  
“I have one. I’ll text you the address. I’ll meet you there with Todd as soon as I have the meds.”  
  
Farah hung up and sent the address before pocketing the cellphone. She swung Todd’s arm over her shoulder as he kicked the air, dragging him through the crowd and onto the street. His cries weren’t letting up, tears running down his reddened cheeks.  
  
“We’re getting you Amanda’s meds,” Farah told him. “It’s gonna be okay, Todd, I promise, we just need to… get to my car… Come on, get in. Let me buckle you up. You’ll be fine, it’s all fine, nothing’s burning. I’m bringing you home. You aren’t burning, Todd.”  
  
She forced herself to ignore his sobbing and focus on the road despite her own somewhat blurry vision.  
  
“I can’t catch a break,” she said minutes later, glancing at Todd. “It’s like none of us is gonna catch a fucking break, ever again.”  
  
“Dirk,” Todd said amid whines and groans. “Where’s Dirk? Oof!”  
  
He doubled over, wringing his hands as he keened.  
  
“I don’t know,” Farah said, parking in front of the Ridgely and bolting out the door as soon as the engine cut out. “He went out, and he didn’t come back, and when I went after him I couldn't see him anywhere, and then you… We’ll find him once you’re taken care of.”  
  
Todd stumbled into the building, barely managing to keep on his feet, Farah close behind.  
  
“I can’t imagine where he wandered off to,” she continued.  
  
“It’s not -” Todd toppled into the wall, holding in another cry. “Not surprising,” he halted. “It’s Dirk.”  
  
She pulled him to his door, her head a swirl of guilty thoughts and half-reasoned contradictions. They were interrupted by Todd’s impromptu screech. His state was worsening as quickly as it had seemed to get better, and he was once again reduced to guttural sounds and half-wild spasms. Swallowing her feelings, Farah dropped him hurriedly on the couch and bolted for the bathroom.  
  
The medicine cabinet was a mess, but the bottles of Amanda’s medication stood out, bright red and urgent. Farah was gone all of twelve seconds; she popped back into the main room just in time to see Todd clambering awkwardly out of the window, rushing like someone trying to escape a building in flames. Racing to stop him, she managed to grab his sleeve, but in Todd’s manic efforts to shake her off he tripped, his howling coming to a thudding halt as he hit the ground below.  
  
“Todd!”  
  
Farah jumped down onto the concrete, landing on the balls of her feet and sliding over to Todd without bothering to get all the way up.  
  
"Todd?" she called, working her hand tentatively beneath his head. It was damp with sweat and gritty with pebbles, but otherwise... she couldn't tell. She was no doctor. He did have a pulse, though, of that she was sure. She patted him lightly on the cheek. "Come on, Todd."  
  
Nothing. His chest barely surged, and she started to mutter.  
  
"Todd. Come on, Todd." She gave him a short slap. "Todd. Don't... Do this this to me, come on. Wake up!"  
  
Just when her eyes were welling up with tears, Todd's opened. They did so at once, fixed and wide, the endlessly blue sky reflected back in them.  
  
"Farah?"  
  
"Oh, Todd," she sobbed, grinning in relief. "I thought you were gone."  
  
"What happened? Where are we? It's all dark."  
  
Farah suddenly felt a little left of herself.  
  
"It's not even sunset," she said through her teeth. "Todd? We're outside, the sun is shining."  
  
Absently, she noticed his pupils were dilated, his breathing in ragged. She placed a hand on his shoulder and pulled him to a sitting position, forcefully.  
  
"Alright," she said. "Deep breaths. You knocked yourself out pretty hard there. Chances are this isn't permanent."  
  
"Chance?" Todd said. He was dangerously close to hysterics, his breathing erratic, hands gripping wildly at her shoulders and twisting the leather of her jacket. Her expensive jacket. She really shouldn't care. She didn't care. "Farah, I can't see anything!"  
  
"All right," she said, prying his hands off her collar and holding them carefully. "It's all right."  
  
"It's not alright!"  
  
"It's not all right," she conceded, "but we'll work it out. We'll work something out."  
  
"I have pararibulitis, and I'm blind. I have pararibulitis, I'm blind, and my insane best friend has disappeared," Todd said. "I'm cursed."  
  
"I'll admit, it's not looking good..."  
  
"Ha! I'm cursed, I have to be. I'm -" Todd interrupted himself, getting a sudden faraway look that worried Farah so much more than the panicking. She was about to ask when he grabbed the lapels of her jacket, pulling down. "I know what to do."  
  
"Oh... kay," she stammered, wringing him off.  
  
"You have to take me to this Tarot reader."  
  
"A - Tarot reader?" Farah said. "Seriously? Todd, I think we should go to a hospital."  
  
"Not _any_ Tarot reader. A specific one. She's... It's, it's a long story, but you gotta take me there."  
  
"All right, fine. But only after you've been looked at by a doctor. Okay?"  
  
"No, Farah, we need to-"  
  
" _Okay_ ?"  
  
"Alright, fine, doctor first. Okay."

  
  
*

  
  
The hospital didn't release Todd until well into the night, and then only begrudgingly, with separate diagnoses of pararibulitis and the resulting concussion for Todd and terse instructions to Farah; don't let him exert himself, stay close for a few nights, wake him every few hours. If he doesn't wake up, call an ambulance or rush him back to the hospital yourself. And for the love of god, no painkillers. As for the blindness, they came to the same conclusion as Farah; it was up in the air.  
  
" _Breath Envy_ ," Todd said when they were sitting back in Farah's car.  
  
"What?" She fired up the ignition.  
  
"It's the name of the boutique Kidder works at - the Tarot reader, Kale Kidman. We can go now, she's open overnight. Can I borrow your phone?"  
  
"You still want to go there?" she asked, checking her phone before pushing it into Todd's hands skeptically. "I mean. Not that there's anything... wrong. With that. It's just..."  
  
"Yes. No! You... I don't believe in that stuff. It's just her. She, uh-" he fumbled with the phone. "I can't type in the address, I'm blind."  
  
An awkward lull fell over the car.  
  
"It's okay, Todd," Farah said. "Just give me the phone, I'll google the place."  
  
"Yeah. Here. Listen, it's a long story."  
  
"You said that." Farah started on the route her phone indicated. "Earlier."  
  
"It's not that I don't want to tell you about it," Todd said, "I'd just... Rather not talk about it."  
  
"Oh. Okay. Um. Did something happen? Between you two?"  
  
"I guess... She was in the band. It, er, didn't end well. Then she skipped town, and I didn't hear from her again until last week, when she sent me..." He fished something out of his pocket, holding it in his palm. "This."  
  
"A Mexican Funeral button?"  
  
"Yeah, but here's the thing; it has Braille on it."  
  
“Do you know what it says?”  
  
“According to Amanda, it’s ‘ _See me_ ’.”  
  
"That's... suspicious."  
  
"It's creepy."  
  
"How do you know it was her?"  
  
"The address was on the package. We looked it up -with Amanda. But I didn't get to go because of, er... Everything."  
  
Farah inclined her head, nodding. "Yeah. So you think she has something to do with today. Somehow."  
  
"I mean, we've seen weirder right?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Maybe she has something to do with Dirk, too."  
  
"I see - Oh."  
  
She closed her eyes a full self-flagellating second.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Todd shrugged. "It's fine."  
  
"We're here."  
  
Todd took a deep breath, Farah noticing as she pulled over that he was as tense as a rod.  
  
"Are you gonna be okay?"  
  
"What? Oh, yeah! Fine." His voice was a touch higher than usual. "I just, I gotta warn you before we go in."  
  
"Yes?” she asked between her teeth.  
  
"Kale isn’t much of a, er, people person. She’s unpredictable, and, generally, insensitive - if not mean.”  
  
“What are you trying to say?”  
  
“She’s bound to do something neither of us will like.”  
  
“Like what?”  
  
Todd breathed in deeply. “I got no idea.”  
  
“You sure you wanna go in?” Farah said.  
  
“Hell no. But it’s our best shot at knowing what the hell is going on.”  
  
“All right.” Farah turned the car off. “Let’s go.”  
  
The shop was dark, small, and uninviting, implausibly nudged between a Victorian apartment complex and a gothic church. Its storefront was entirely black except for the iridescent decals in the display windows announcing the purpose of the place in evasive script. A frankly absurd amount of lit candles adorned the sidewalk on either side of the door, hovering an inch into the air. The flimsy awnings did little to keep them covered, yet the flames barely wavered in the night’s blasting winds. She was nearly upon them when Farah realized with a bit of a start that the candles were behind glass. She huffed, irritated. A line on the window caught her eye. She squinted darkly.  
  
“Todd,” she filled in. “It says ‘ _Holistic Tarot_ ’.”  
  
“Holistic? You’re joking,” Todd said.  
  
“Believe me, I wish I was,” Farah said, and pushed the door, Todd following closely with a hand around her forearm.  
  
The boutique was claustrophobic inside, tumaceous smoke coiling on the ceiling and around the intricate canopy draped on the walls, down to the thick tapestry carpet. A plethora of mismatched lamps had been hung over a round table in the center of an alcove, like some strange insects’ nest, casting a lambent kaleidoscope that played more optic tricks than it shed light. Beneath the sweltering air, a rimy draft caressed Farah’s limbs from god knows where. She pressed her arms to her body, unintentionally drawing Todd closer. Footfalls came from the back chamber, light and languid.  
  
“I’ve been expecting you,” flowed a profound voice, like air escaping a grave. It was rich with an accent Farah didn’t fully recognize - australian, maybe. “You’ve received my invitation.”  
  
“Pretty ominous invitation,” Todd said, kneading Farah’s sleeve. “Even from you, Kidder.”  
  
“Yet it took you this long to get back to me.”  
  
Disembodied as it was, the voice managed to sound so sarcastically chagrined that Farah snorted softly.  
  
“But who’s this?” A woman finally emerged from the shadows, swaying more than she walked around the table. Her eyes were large as Todd’s, but neon green and electric -not like a bulb is electric, but like a storm is. “Aren’t I just fucking rude to ignore you… And who could,” she said, appreciative.  
  
Farah balked as the psychic, or the witch, or whatever she was, slowly extended two graceful fingers towards her face, swiping a line along her jaw. Then the fingers curled, nails digging into skin. Farah howled and flinched away, shocked.  
  
“Hey,” Todd said, though he likely couldn’t tell what was going on. “Leave her alone.”  
  
The woman - Kidder - only sneered and bit her fingers. “We’re just getting to know each other, nothin’ more.”  
  
“Yeah, right. Well this isn’t a courtesy call, so cut it out.”  
  
She exposed her teeth, Farah twitching, and let out a rippling cackle. “Aw, Todd!” She grinned, candid. “I did miss you. Aren’t you as pleased to see me?”  
  
Todd was turning a warm shade. "I might be. Except, I want you to take a bow; I’m blind.”  
  
Her face bloomed into a devilish smirk as she moved off Farah.  
  
"Are you ever," she said, gyrating into Todd. "Since when do you know what you want, Toddler?"  
  
Todd's grip tightened on Farah's leather-clad arm while silence stretched the air thin between the two.  
  
"It's also about my best friend,” Todd said.  
  
Kidder quirked an eyebrow. "Your what now?"  
  
"Please, Kale."  
  
She threw her hands in the air and landed them on the table, leaning backwards into it.  
  
"Fine. What's up with your bf?" she asked, eyeing Farah curiously, who did her best to ignore the tickling in her chin as she pulled out her phone.  
  
Todd drew in a deep breath. "I need to know how to get him back."  
  
Kale nodded thoughtfully, eyes gleaming. "Aw. Ain't that sweet."  
  
"It's not -" Todd let out a frustrated sigh. "- He's not an ex I'm trying to win over again. He's literally vanished."  
  
"Huh-huh." She pondered. "This calls for a little shadow work."  
  
She beamed, somewhere between truly devious and just plain terrifying.  
  
“Absolutely no shadow work,” Todd said emphatically, Kale’s grin falling into a petulant moue. “Have you got something to do with him disappearing?”  
  
“Why, no,” she said, crossing her arms. “That would be your natural charm.”  
  
“You can talk,” Todd replied without aplomb.  
  
“Thanks, I think I will. Sit.”  
  
She didn’t wait to sprawl into her own seat, hooking one leg over the cathedra’s armrest. After a beat Todd jerked his hands up, eyes blown wide. Kale - Kidder? - only deigned raise an unimpressed brow before motioning Farah over.  
  
“I can’t believe this bitch,” Farah whistled under her breath as she shunted Todd onto the arched settee opposite Kale.  
  
A sly smirk curved underneath the bitch’s predatory glance. Farah checked her phone again, standing fast.

 

°·θ·°

 

As Todd patted his seat’s cushions, letting himself properly sink into them, he heard a clunk followed by a telltale shuffle. He groaned.  
  
“This is what I _do_ ,” Kale said.  
  
“I wish you wouldn’t.”  
  
“Fool.”  
  
Todd squinched.  
  
“The card,” Kale clarified. “But you, too, sure.”  
  
“Confluent,” Todd muttered.  
  
“It represents the way you view your partner,” Kale said, “in this present case.”  
  
“Dirk’s not my -”  
  
“- I don’t care. Tarot term; nothing implied. Though the lady doth protest too fucking much.”  
  
Farah made a small sound of agreement, clearing her throat immediately as though she hadn’t meant to make a sound at all. Todd crossed his arms.  
  
“How do I view Dirk, then?”  
  
“The fun one. Innocent, perhaps even childish, and recklessly so. You’re protective of him in that hateful way you got.”  
  
Todd punctuated each sentence with a scoff, while Farah hummed at the last one.  
  
“Oh, you believe her now?”  
  
"Well, you did take many volts of electricity for him.”  
  
“He would have died!”  
  
“I just think -”  
  
“X of Swords,” Kale interrupted.  
  
“Isn’t that the guy who gets stabbed in the back?” Todd quipped.  
  
“It represents the way your partner sees _you_.”  
  
His smile tightened.  
  
“It seems he feels you have trusted the wrong people,” Kale continued, ignoring Farah’s protests, “or the wrong parts of yourself. That you’ve fallen victim to them.”  
  
Todd rubbed his arm.  
  
“However… The X of Swords is also a precursor of new beginnings. You are in a position to pull yourself up, and out of the hole you dug yourself in. Or so ‘Dirk’ senses. Do you believe _that_?”

 

“Dirk’s an optimist,” Todd shrugged.

 

“Seems so. He thinks you’re able to get exactly what you need, and what you need, according to the Ace of Cups, is to give back to the world and the people who have given you -most of all your bf.”

 

“Does that mean I get to blind you?”

 

“I thought we established Dirk as the funny one. The Ace of Cups also signifies a connection to the divine. You are a child of the universe, and the universe provides. Provided you let it. Your partner on the other hand could use some of the exact opposite.”

 

Todd tensed.

 

“The Devil.” Her smile might as well have been audible. “When we are trapped we almost always hold the key to our own freedom. When we are not getting what we deserve, we almost always are meant to get it ourselves. On the other hand, this card points as well to a need to enjoy worldly or, er, carnal, pleasures.”

 

“You’re saying Dirk needs to get laid?” Todd said, show-me.

 

“You’re putting words into my mouth,” Kale pointed out, sounding overly pleased with herself.

 

“You’re projecting.”

 

“Your relationship is at a meaningful juncture.”

 

“This isn’t appropriate,” Todd said.

 

“Page of Wands. You two are in a daring and exciting phase of your acquaintance. Although somewhat unfocused. An ideal time for play.”

 

“Oh, is that why he’s gone?” Todd said, supercilious. “It’s hide-and-seek, is that it?”

 

“Maybe so,” Kale said, unruffled.

 

“You know what, coming here was a waste of time.”

 

“You sold our equipment, Todd.”

 

Todd froze halfway out of his seat. He swallowed.

 

“Oh.”

 

“You make a habit out of backing yourself into tight corners. Selling our shit was your way out of the one you were in then, I get that. But you know how fond I am of the saying.” She poked him between the eyes. “Karma’s a bitch.”

 

Todd took a pratfall back into his seat, Farah’s watchful eye an itch under his skin.

 

“Fine, I had it coming. I’m sorry. What do I have to do for you to get me my sight back?”

 

“Oh, I couldn’t.”

 

“Kidder, come on, you’ve got to know this is overkill!”

 

“That nickname was over and buried with the Funeral. Don’t use it again.” Todd could tell she had leaned in when she talked next. “It’s not in my hands to fix you.”

 

“What is that supposed to mean?” he scoffed.

 

“Can I finish?”

 

Todd cleared his throat. “Sure.”

 

Kale settled back into her seat before she carried on.

 

“King of Swords. You want to feel safe, in control, but you’re in danger of disregarding feelings; your partner’s, yours, or both. You want to draw a neat little box and sit in it. _He_ wants a partnership, as per the II of Swords. An equal, balanced, healthy, partnership.”

 

“Where is this all leading to?”

 

“Getting to it. There’re certain aspects of the relationship to consider; IX of Cups means you’re overly lucky to have one another. You were overly lucky he even walked into your life. Now he’s gone you ask me how to get him back. This’s my answer: do nothing.”

 

“Nothing.” Todd sounded hollow even to himself.

 

"You can't help it, Todd," Kale said in a susurrate."I know what you’re telling yourself; that it's the will of the universe that you always end up dejected and rejected. You got it coming to you, too."  
  
Todd clenched his jaw behind pursed lips.  
  
"By god," Kale said, rare genuine surprise in her tone. "You're crying."  
  
"Don't flatter yourself," Todd denied, eyes watering. He snorted. "You don't know Dirk. He's pathetic. I’ve tried pretty much everything and he wouldn't go away."  
  
Kale snickered. "You got your wish, in the end.”  
  
"I don't-" Todd shook his head. "I don't think he left."  
  
"What difference does it make? He's gone."

 

“I didn’t want him gone anymore.”

 

“Tough luck,” Kale said.  
  
"Screw you."  
  
Todd got up, settee scraping against the floorboards in his haste. A hand wrapped around his elbow. At first he thought it was Kale's, but the grip was warm and helpful.  
  
"Are we leaving, Todd?" Farah asked, minatory -though not at him.  
  
'Now, now," Kale said as though pacifying her, but her tone was viciously amused. "No rush, is there? I'm just getting to you."  
  
"I've had enough," Farah said.  
  
Kale's crow rang clear and deranging in the confined atmosphere.  
  
"You haven't nearly," she said in a sensationalist purr.  
  
Todd sneered.  
  
"Let's go," Farah said, pulling him along.

 

Something whooshed past Todd’s ear and he raised his hand in alarm, catching it with a soft thud.

 

“Did you just throw something at me?” he cried.

 

“Yep,” Kale said.

 

“Wh… What is it?”

 

“Voodoo doll.”

 

“Voodoo doll,” Todd repeated slowly, fingers clenching and unclenching around it.

 

“Yes, it’s a shame you can’t see it. The resemblance is quite striking. It even has a tiny Mexican Funeral shirt.”

 

“Why? Do you have a Voodoo doll of Todd?”

 

“Well, I don’t, anymore. I surrender it. Call it a peace offering.”

 

“That’s just bullshit,” Todd said.

 

“That’s just hurtful,” Kale replied, sounding not the least bit hurt. “You were on your way out.”

 

“Yes, we fucking were.”

 

The wind slapped Todd 'round the face, as though _it_ were unnatural, rather than the smothering air of the booth. He shivered.

  
"Where to?"

  
  
"A safe place I got,” Farah said as she opened the passenger door and guided him into her car. “Your sister should be there."

  
"Amanda?"

  
  
His door thunked, then the driver's, Farah climbing in.

  
  
"She was on the phone," she said.

  
  
"I remember. What happened to her? She was panicked..."

  
  
"There wasn't time to say," Farah replied, motor igniting.

  
"God, I hope she's okay."

  
  
For a moment there was only the pleasant hum and grind of the road under the tires.

  
  
"Me, too," Farah said finally, barely audible.

 

They pulled over what seemed an eternity later, Todd’s head throbbing and his eyes inexplicably tired.

 

“Wait here.”

 

Farah left the car, gravel crunching under her steps like firecrackers. Todd winced at the wail of a metal door sliding open, then Farah climbed back in, driving off the gravel onto concrete, cut the engine, and climbed back out. The sliding door hit the ground with a loud thunk, Todd snarling as he got out of the car.

 

“Follow me - right, no,” Farah said, putting a hand over his shoulder instead.

 

They walked through a couple doors, alarm systems beeping as Farah typed in codes, and emerged into an air-conditioned area that smelt slightly of dust.

 

“Farah! You’re here!”

 

“Amanda,” Farah said, letting go of Todd as his sister embraced her. “And, er, hi. Who’s this?”

 

“That’s Vogel. The other guys are… I don’t know.”

 

“Why didn’t you text me? I was worried sick…”

 

“Phone died,” Amanda said, apologetic. “What happened to your face?”

 

“Oh… It’s nothing. Just a scratch.”

 

“I’m here, too.” Todd waved awkwardly.

 

"Didn't think we'd see each other again so soon," Amanda said, hugging him hard.

 

"Speak for yourself," Todd scoffed.

 

Farah grunted softly.

 

"Alright... That's pretty cocky for a guy who just contracted a disease you lied to me about having for years," Amanda reminded, stunned.

 

"Wait, that's not what I meant -"

 

"- He can't see you," Farah intervened. "He's blind. He fell off a window and... hit his head and... It was my fault, I'm sorry, I left him alone for half a second and it was so stupid -"

 

"Dude, stop. What - blind? For real? Farah, it’s not your fault, seriously, don’t blame yourself. It’s just… Blind, though? Todd..." Amanda’s hand found his shoulder.

 

"I'm okay.” Todd patted his sister’s arm. “Really. It might not even be permanent."

 

“It might not? That’s great! Have you got good odds? You saw a doctor, right? What did they say?”

 

“Not much, but it’s not hopeless.” Todd smiled.

 

“It can’t be for you to look so dopey,” Amanda said. “I don’t know what the docs gave you but I could use some.”

 

“I’m just,” Todd shrugged, hapless. “Glad you’re here.”

 

As he absentmindedly palmed his jeans, a light went on in his mind.  
  
"I've got something for you," he announced.  
  
"It's not a lottery ticket, is it?" Amanda asked with an edge to her voice.  
  
"Yeah... No, about that. I realize now that it was a pretty sorry excuse for a fix-up. I'm sorry. I should have seen that sooner."  
  
"You should have seen that when you could still see," Amanda said with glee. "Sorry. Too soon?"  
  
"It's, er. It's fine," Todd said with a self-conscious smile. He knew his sister well enough that he could tell she was pleased with him. It made him stupidly hopeful as he pulled the doll out of his pocket, thrusting it haphazardly forward.  
  
"Is that a doll of you?" Amanda said, incredulous. "Oh! Oh no, is that a Voodoo doll?"  
  
"Kale made it."  
  
"You went to see Kidder." The edge was back with a vengeance.  
  
Todd gave a meek shrug. "I thought she might be helpful in finding Dirk."  
  
"Was she?"  
  
"No. But she did imply having something to do with the whole blindness thing, somehow. Payback for selling our equipment."

  
"Karma’s a bitch,” Amanda quipped.  
  
Todd felt a surge of guilt pass through him.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Shut up. Why are you giving me this?"  
  
"Figure I owe you a chance to even the odds. You know, with, er, what I...did."  
  
Amanda said nothing for long enough for Todd to feel the crawl of moisture between his shoulder blades.  
  
"Why-" she asked, hesitating. "-did you do it, Todd?"  
  
"I..." He shifted, the floor suddenly too hard, took a deep breath. "I lied to mom and dad because I was lazy, and selfish, and irresponsible. And I lied to you because... I didn't want you to know I was. You've always... been on my side. I wanted to keep you there. But I didn't deserve it. You, huh, deserve better than me, Amanda. I'm a shitty brother -Have been. A shitty brother. And our relationship might be unsalvageable, but I'm trying to be better. I really want to make things right - are you crying?"  
  
The sniffle was unmistakable, and so was the brash tone that Amanda used when she was pretending otherwise.  
  
"You better make it right, dude. You really do owe me that."  
  
"Yeah." Todd said. "I know."

 

“We should all go to sleep,” Farah stepped in, ever heedful. “We can try looking for Dirk tomorrow. The other ones, too.”

 

Vogel made a sound between a hum and a whimper. “I don’t need to look for them! I know where they are.”

 

“Dude, don’t say that, come on. I’m sure they got away,” Amanda said, sounding anything but.

 

“Yeah, hey, away from who? Exactly?” Farah asked.

 

“Blackwing,” all three others answered in varying tones of doom and gloom.

 

“The CIA group you told me about."

 

“That experimented on people like Dirk, and the Rowdies, yes," Todd said.

 

“Two of them tried to get the boys to come back in before, for debriefing or something,” Amanda added sourly. “Pointed a fucking gun to my head. Assholes.”

 

“Yeah, they came for Dirk, too - wait, what?”

 

“It wasn’t all that,” she hurried to curb. “I got away.” She failed. “You know what, Farah’s right, we should all go to bed.”

 

“Wait a minute-”

 

“Bedtime!” Vogel yelled, followed by a loud thump, like he’d just flopped to the floor.

 

“There _are_ beds,” Farah said. “In the next room.”

 

“Okay!”

 

Amanda giggled and took Todd’s hand, dragging him behind her to the next room. “Bunk beds? Cool! Shotgun the top bunk! Farah, we sharing?”

 

“Well, I, we. Yeah. Sure. We can share. We _should_ share, I mean, we’re the only two girls and there’s just two… bunks… Hum.” Farah cleared her throat. ”Bathroom’s over there.”  
  
Unfamiliar hands weighed on Todd’s shoulders, piloting him forward until he hit his head against a railing.

 

“Ow!” He scowled, rubbing his brow.

 

“Duck,” Vogel said.

 

Todd shook his head as he complied, feeling for the mattress. It was a bad mattress, but then again he was used to that. He slid onto it, right to the edge, and lay on his side, Vogel rolling in spread-eagle next to him, limbs askew, apparently oblivious to the lack of space. A few minutes later he heard the girls climb up and was on the verge of falling asleep when Amanda spoke again, so softly he might have dreamt it.  
  
"For what it's worth, I don't think you're unsalvageable."

  
  
*

 

_Todd lay on his couch, head pounding, a female figure standing over him. He grunted, incapable of moving. His eyes closed for themselves. When they opened again there was no one there, but a repetitive knock at the door._

 

_-Todd… Let me in, a plaintive voice said. Somehow he knew that voice, but it seemed so far away._

 

_-Dirk? Todd moaned._

 

_He tried to get up. His hand clenched around a cushion, the pain slashing through his burnt palm and lodging itself between his temples. Cold fingers trailed over his wincing brow._

 

_-I didn’t mean to._

 

_He blinked, the knocking more insistent now._

 

_-I didn’t mean to, Dirk begged._

 

_Dirk, Todd said again, or tried. Now that he was up, he struggled to get his mouth to work. He couldn’t walk properly, either. It was like one of those sand mazes, the floors lurching beneath him, the walls coming together and off again. He couldn’t find the door. There wasn’t a door._

 

_-Please, Todd, I promise I won’t leave again._

 

_-You can’t promise that, Todd said, dry-heaving. Where are you?_

 

_-Please, Todd, I promise._

 

_-There’s no door, Todd retched, tumbling off one wall and onto the ceiling._

 

_-Let me in._

 

_-I’m trying._

 

_Todd rolled onto the far wall, scrunching his eyes close through the pain. When he opened them, he was back on the couch, a figure above him. Gravity kicked in like a punch._

 

Todd jerked awake, his head connecting hard with an unexpectedly low ceiling.

 

“Hey,” Amanda complained sleepily.

 

Right. Bunk beds. He palmed his sweaty forehead, sigh turning into a grumble. In his pocket, his phone vibrated near continuously. He pulled it out, squinting in advance.

 

“Ow,” Vogel bemoaned. “Turn it off. Off!”

 

“It’s not even - ah. Right. Sorry.” He paused. “Actually, can you tell me what it says?”

 

“It’s sleepy time not ready time.”

 

“Right. Well. Sorry? Er, Amanda - you awake?”

 

“I wish I wasn’t. What’s up?”

 

“Read this out for me?”

 

“Huh? Er, 17 missed calls, 53 missed messages - 54; it’s Dirk. He says to let him in.”

 

Todd pushed the power button. “Wait - again, please?”

 

Amanda’s voice slowly filled with realisation. “It’s Dirk. He says to let him in!”

 

“It’s the guy, it’s the guy we’ve been following around, he’s here! He’s here with them!”

 

“Blackwing?” Farah said, chilly.

 

“The Rowdies!” Vogel hooted, leaping off the bed.

 

Amanda whooped as she followed suit.

 

“Hold on, you two, how would they have even known where - damn it.”

 

“Farah?”

 

“I got you, Todd.” Farah said. “Watch out for the bunk… Here we go.”

 

“Kale was right,” Todd said. “About not doing anything.”

 

“I don’t know, Todd. Something’s off about that Kale. Something’s off about this, too.”

 

“I can’t remember the last time something _wasn’t_ off,” Todd replied wryly.

 

°·θ·°

 

Dirk trampled nervously on the gravel.

 

“Are you _sure_ they’re here?” He asked for at least the twelfth time.

 

Martin took a break from his pacing to throw him a murderous glare.

 

“They’re here,” Cross growled, Gripps agreeing sharply.

 

Shivering in his leather jacket, Dirk turned back towards the nondescript house. He could feel it, too, although differently than the Rowdies; he was exactly where he was meant to be. It could still be a trap. Maybe the CIA had concocted some way to control their powers, and this was a test run. Any moment now a van would turn up, a squadron rushing out and grabbing them to take them back in, or the door would open and…

Dirk yelped and jumped nearly a foot into the air as the door suddenly opened, Amanda frozen on the sill. She smiled widely.

 

“Dirk!” She leapt into his arms, squeezing hard. “You’re okay!”

 

“Yes, I’m -” He started, but already she had bounced over to the Rowdies, closely followed by an elated Vogel, the five of them more or less pouncing onto one another like a pack of excited dogs. Dirk smiled, semi-sweet.

 

“Dirk?”

 

Every nerve in his body strained at the uncertain call. He pivoted to find Todd smiling tightly into empty air, Farah standing behind him with a hand on his shoulder. Dirk’s heartbeat went wild at the sight. What if Todd had been grateful he was gone? What if he’d changed his mind about being friends? What if he and Farah...

 

“...suppose you got away in some ridiculously convoluted, accidental way.” Todd said  in a manner almost fond.

 

Dirk looked at the Rowdies.

 

“Not exactly.”

 

“We didn’t get away,” Martin said, grave as yard. “They let us go.”

 

“They let - really?”

 

“I didn’t get shot in your shirt,” Dirk sidestepped with a faux boastful bow.

 

“Thank god,” Todd said, genuine.

 

“Are _you_ alright?”

 

“I don’t know how to say this,” Todd sighed ( _Then don’t_ , Dirk pleaded inwardly), “I sort of… am blind.”

 

Dirk reeled back in shock.

 

“Also, I have pararibulitis. Which is how I got blind.”

 

“ _What?_ How? When? I was gone barely a day,” Dirk said, patting his own forehead, then Todd’s. “You’re sure it’s not just a fever?”

 

“It’s not a fever,” Todd said, looking one part amused and two parts annoyed - or exhausted? It was hard to tell considering Dirk had a hand on his brow and Todd wasn’t making any move to get it off.

 

“Let’s roll out, boys,” Martin yelled, Dirk letting his hand slip away with a subtle clench.

 

“You’re going?” Farah asked, grazing Amanda’s arm.

 

Todd’s sister grabbed onto Farah. “Come with us.”

 

“I - I can’t, your brother, and - the agency…”

 

“Just a few days, then,” Amanda shrugged. “The agency can wait a few days. Plus, Todd has Dirk.”

 

“Oh, um,” Dirk said, fretting.

 

“You should go,” Todd insisted. “Amanda’s right, I have Dirk. I’d say I’m in safe hands, but that might be pushing it.”

 

“Maybe this isn’t the best -”

 

“Come on, Dirk. We’ve earned a few days off. And so has Farah.”

 

“Alright,” Dirk said, balancing on his toes.

 

“I mean - Todd, are you sure?” Farah asked.

 

“Just go,” Todd laughed.

 

Farah faced Martin, who met her eyes, acquiescing.

 

“Should I bring anything?”

 

Amanda grinned. “We got all we need in here.”

 

“Oh. Okay?” Farah climbed in behind her, staring dubiously back out. Dirk waved, beaming. “Oh, here.” She dug in her pocket and threw her keys, Dirk trying to catch them and failing. The chain hit his wrist, Dirk fanning his hands with a surprised howl. “Please don’t ruin my car, Dirk.”

 

“What about this place’s alarms?” Todd asked, a comforting hand finding Dirk’s shoulder.

 

“I’ll text Dirk,” Farah said.

 

“Bye Todd! See you Dirk,” Amanda said, Todd waving as well. “This is gonna be so wild!” They heard her gleefully exclaim as the van roared to life, disappearing in a cloud of dust.

 

Silence fell over them.

 

“Well,” Dirk chirped. “Here we are.”

 

“Here we are.” Todd frowned. “Where even are we?”

 

“Some house, er, somewhere. I don’t really know. I had a dreadful time in that van, I didn’t pay too much attention to where it was going, but I think Seattle is that way,” Dirk said, stretching his arm towards the city, clearly visible in the distance.

 

‘Dirk, I don’t know where you’re pointing.”

 

“Right. Of course.” He picked up Todd’s wrist, pointing it in the general direction of the skyline.

 

“A house, huh? I imagined more of a random storage unit out in the middle of nowhere, with a bunker underneath.”

 

“Well, that wouldn’t be very subtle,” Dirk pointed out as he let go of Todd.

 

“I guess not,” Todd said. Dirk’s phone vibrated a couple times. “Farah?”

 

“Yes. The alarm codes,” he explained.

 

“What time is it, anyway?” Todd asked, stifling a yawn.

 

“Um -” Dirk checked his phone. “7:47.”

 

“I don’t think I’ve had much sleep.”

 

“Me either.”

 

“When we get home,” Todd said, rubbing his face, “I need a shower, a mountain of food, and a nap.”

 

“Oh, yes” Dirk whined. “I’m starving.”

 

“Alright, then. Let’s go home.”

 

 _Home._ Dirk tried not to beam, then remembered Todd couldn’t see and beamed anyway. He started, frolicsome, towards the house, Todd clearing his throat.

 

“Gonna leave me out here?”

 

“Oh! Right.” Dirk hesitated.

 

Todd blew softly through his nose and extended his hand, to Dirk’s amazement - though he was starting to worry his heart would fail by the end of the day just for Todd being so touchy. It was only practical, he reminded himself as he took the proffered hand, pacing himself as they walked. They locked the house and climbed into Farah’s car, Dirk fumbling at the wheel, mumbling (“Seems straightforward enough. Where’s… Ah!”) for a minute before finally turning the car on and driving away.

 

Todd’s apartment was just as Dirk had last seen it; a right mess. He toed a table leg out of the way, holding Todd at arm’s length as he cleared some sort of path to the kitchen.

 

“Food, first,” he said.

 

“You’re not cooking,” Todd said, “you’ll kill us both.”

 

“Well, _you_ ’re not cooking, you’re blind.”

 

Todd pouted. Somehow the fact that his eyes strayed some way over Dirk’s shoulder was terribly endearing.

 

“Order in?”

 

“Brilliant idea,” Dirk said. “I am dying for a pizza.”

 

“Pizza it is. You order. I need to wash up.”

 

“Do you need um... any help?”

 

“Absolutely not.”

 

“Good! Good.”

 

Todd trailed his fingers on the wall, making his way to the bathroom like he’d done this all his life. Granted, Dirk could have navigated his own apartment back in England with his eyes closed, too, but it still seemed impressive. And weird -oh so weird.

 

“Todd is blind,” he said to the room at large.

 

“Todd’s not deaf,” Todd said from the bathroom.

 

“Just introducing your apartment to the new reality,” Dirk said, grabbing his phone.

 

“How thoughtful.”

 

“Thoughtful is my middle name.”

 

“Classy!”

 

“My thoughts exactly,” Dirk said. “I’m calling now, stop talking.”

 

Todd chortled, but he obeyed. Soon the sound of running water filled the apartment. Dirk swallowed.

 

“Ah, yes, hullo, um.” He cleared his throat, swallowing again. “Yes, for delivery, yes.”

 

Fifteen minutes later Todd came out of the bathroom, damp hair sticking out every which way and a towel around his hips. Lean, gleaming wet hips. Dirk held himself as still as possible.

 

“Hey, would you pick out an outfit for me?” Todd asked, embarrassed.

 

“Sure.”

 

“Don’t make me look ridiculous.”

 

“I would never!”

 

“No offense, Dirk, but our styles don’t exactly line up.”

 

“Well, I’ll pick something as depressing as possible.”

 

“Depressing!”

 

Dirk rummaged through Todd’s single trunk of clothes.

 

“You only wear dark colors, Todd.”

 

“Because I don’t mistake myself for a Christmas tree.”

 

“I think that spells fun! Although I do hate Christmas.”

 

“Really? I’d have thought you’d be an enthusiast.”

 

“It isn’t -” Dirk shrugged. “- the best fun on your own. Is it?”

 

Todd deflated. “No. It’s not.”

 

“Here.” Dirk handed him a flannel and a pair of jeans, underwear and shirt sandwiched in-between. “After you.”

 

He was out of the shower by the time the pizza arrived, wearing the same crinkled pants and Mexican Funeral shirt as the day before. He couldn’t exactly borrow a pair of jeans from hobbit-sized Todd, could he?

 

“Do you have mayonnaise?” Dirk asked.

 

“You’d have to look in the fridge but there’s -” Todd swiped a hand over the pizza box, making sure, “-no fries.”

 

“I know,” Dirk said, delving into the fridge for the pot. “It’s for the pizza.”

 

“You eat mayonnaise on pizza?” Todd asked, making a face at the very idea.

 

“You don’t?”

 

“ _No one_ does.”

 

“Well, _I_ do, and _they_ are missing out. Ha! Found some.”

 

“God, now I’m worried about the toppings you chose.”

 

“Well, why don’t you try it and see?”

 

Todd smiled. “Funny.”

 

“What? Oh! I didn’t mean to do that.”

 

Dirk sat by Todd on the sofa, handing him a slice before spreading a generous layer of mayo on his. Todd took a bite, a cautious air on his face as he chewed.

 

“Pineapple. Figures. Is that… nutmeg?”

 

“Ground pistachios.”

 

Todd snorted. “Where… the _hell_ did you even find a pizza place that offers that?”

 

“I _am_ a detective.”

 

Not for the first time since Dirk had met him, Todd guffawed in earnest. Still, it took Dirk’s breath away.

 

“Is there fried spinach on this?”

 

“Spinach? What am I, a bunny? It’s kale.”

 

Todd swallowed, scratched his chin. “No kidding.”

 

“I didn’t get that.”

 

“It’s one and the same, really.”

 

“Spinach is a nasty leaf vegetable, Todd,” Dirk said, offended. “Kale is a delicious candy treat.”

 

“They’re both vegetables, Dirk. Just because they fried this kale in sugar doesn’t make it’s any less of a nasty leaf.”

 

“What? No!” Dirk stared at his pizza in abject horror. “I’ve been bamboozled.”

 

“You bamboozled your own damn self,” Todd mocked. “Hey! What did you just do?”

 

“Nothing!”

 

“I’m holding my slice, Dirk. I felt you do something to it!”

 

“I didn’t do anything.”

 

Todd squinted. “You put mayonnaise on there. Didn’t you?”

 

“... Maybe.”

 

“I’m not eating that.”

 

“Suit yourself.”

 

“Fine. One bite.”

 

Dirk beamed, watching closely as his friend took an apprehensive mouthful of pizza.

 

“Oh god,” Todd moaned. “You were right.”

 

“I do that quite a lot, yet people are always surprised.”

 

“Don’t quote _Pirates of the Caribbean_ in my house.”

 

“You liked it,” Dirk said, mighty pleased with himself.

 

“ _Pirates of the Caribbean?_ ”

 

“Mayonnaise on pizza.”

 

“You like nasty leaf vegetables.”

 

“Kale-umny. I was hoodwinked.”

 

They devolved into snickering, Dirk trailing his eyes over Todd’s profile with an ache in his chest like longing. They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Dirk turned around and was met with a curly-haired, green-eyed woman leaning casually on the sill, knuckles still grazing it. She smirked, contemplative. Dirk’s heart seized.

 

“You’re one of them,” he said just as she said: “You’re one of us.”

 

Todd blinked, incredulous. “Speak of the wolf. Kale? One of what?”

 

“Blackwing,” they answered at once.

 

“You gotta be _fucking_ kidding me.”

 

°·θ·°

 


End file.
